Connection as a Vahana (वहन)Towards Enlightenment

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships. Not just romantic ones, but the whole ecosystem. Family, friendships, community, our relationship to the Earth, the Universe, and most intimately, the one we hold with ourselves.

If you didn’t already, something you should know about me is that I place a lot of value on my self-growth and development. As a yoga teacher, a therapist, and just a human being walking this Earth interacting with other human beings walking this Earth, it feels like a sacred duty to show up as fully and authentically as I can.

Throughout my life, during yoga teacher training, while galavanting through Costa Rica, working in my corporate job, throughout the chaos of grad school, while teaching, and now in my work as a therapist, I’ve come back again and again to the idea that I can only show up for others by showing up for myself - through constant, unending self-inquiry, trainings, teachings, journeying, therapy, the list goes on.

Now I know what you might be thinking: Okay, Caroline, cool! We get it! You value self-growth. Great for you.

But you know what? It wasn’t always great for me. And it might not be great for you either.

Because somewhere along the way, self-growth became less of a sacred journey, but more of a compulsive ride I couldn’t get off. Like I was hitching a ride on every vahana I could find, chasing something that would give me that perfect piece of wisdom, insight, or awareness. (As described in Hindu mythology, a vahana is a vehicle, typically an animal or mythical creature, that each God/dess has to transport them. But a vahana is more than just a mode of transport, it goes hand in hand with that deity’s powers, qualities, and purpose. For example, if you’ve heard me teach about Garuda, you’ll know he is Vishnu’s vahana! Garuda, the eagle, embodies speed, power, strength, and divine protection - all traits that align with Vishnu’s role as the preserver).

Sure, each vehicle offered something sacred, but I forgot something vital:

You’re not meant to ride alone forever. And sometimes, seeing yourself through the sacred mirror of the Other provides you with something you could never gain alone.

The state of the wellness world as I see it has a way of turning personal development into a destination, or worse, a performance. In this hyper-individualized pursuit, I feel I lost the thread of connection. Sure I got really good at observing my inner world, but truth is, I am way less practiced in offering it to others, or letting theirs into mine.

Point of the matter being, I could gather a thousand insights and still miss the point because I was the only one holding them. Insights, awareness, wisdom isn’t made to sit in the solitude of one person’s monkey mind (hi, it’s me!). It’s meant to be tested. It’s meant to be shared, complicated, expanded. In relationship.

The truth I’m beginning to sit with now is this: Our collective enlightenment rides on more than one vahana.

Self-awareness, sure. But also through community. Intimacy. Service. Shared spaces. Belly laughs. Grief held tenderly together.

My friends, the Earth is aching for collective repair. And from my experience, I think the next step might not be another solo journey inward, but an intentional step outward, towards one another.

Even when it’s hard. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when that person is really pissing you off and you can’t believe that so-and-so liked so-and-so’s instagram picture.

It’s worth it. It is so worth it. Because the real test of all that inner knowing - the yoga, the therapy, the insight - isn’t how enlightened you are alone in your room or your comfort zone. It’s how you show up when it’s messy, imperfect, and real. It’s remembering that everyone, even the tough cookies, carries a spark of the Sacred.

Now of course this doesn’t mean spending time with people who feel mismatched to your nervous system or your soul. But maybe it is time for a little experiment. A little guess-and-check. Reach out. Reconnect. Let yourself be seen. Let someone else in.

Let’s stop riding alone. I hope to see you in a community class soon.

With so much gratitude,

Caroline